'Ленивый and старательный' by Joe W. Speier at Plague Space, Krasnodar

If you ask. "It's been around five months now. But why You art is still the same." I have many reasons to tell you guys.

First, I have some "bipolar disorder." It's like when I set my goal to draw something and I'm always ending up failure. And it ends up like...."I hate myself" "I want to die. Somebody kill me pls"

Second, I have a bad teacher at the university. This is the main thing that makes me hate to do art. I just went to university that I hope I'll get better. It ends up badly. It's not working at all. My teacher just like a politician. He's always yelling at me. Just like your mom when she pissed out. I don't like that. I'm having a lot of stress from my family, friends and my entry life. He's just like. He's always right. And I'm always wrong. I hate that kind of person. SO. MUCH. I wanna kill that guy. It makes me hate what I liked to do in five months.

Third, I always hate myself. I'm not like a normal people. That usual practice. But I just feel like I'M NOT OK. That isn't right....... I'm always trying to practice. DON'T you ever thing "BOHO,... Mooza, You didn't practice enough. come on try harder. You can do it." No........ Not at all....... I'm not an optimistic person. My attitude is fucked when I'm in 7th grade. It has a lot of school bully Back then. I tried to draw something that....you know when you guys were 12-13 years old (if you are born in 90's) And then my friends said. "What are you doing. You Fucking noob" and other guys said. "Wow, Hey He's drawing cartoons He's fucking retarded." And I closed my notebook go somewhere that quiet. No people. no sound. and I'm started to draw. BUT, That's not helped me get always form bully. They follow me around and yelling at me. Making fun. and tearing paper. and that. I'm SCARED to draw. and it ends up me being bully so many time.